Chapter 6

Hospitality

Hospitality means the loving and generous reception of guests, offering them a pleasant and supportive environment. In practical terms for the family of God, it means often having your spiritual "family" to your home where you feed (from a snack to a meal), entertain, spend time with, and house them if from out-of-town, making them feel comfortable and wanted. This is bonding-work: the family is bonded together in this way. It may mean your home becomes the center of young peoples' activities because you have made them feel comfortable and unthreatened, even though they are disrupting the "normal" routine. They are free to talk to you without fear of a judgmental attitude, and therefore consider advice worthwhile. Your home may be where "home meetings" are held to reach/teach people in the neighborhood. The local church might even meet in your home. Just as people go to a hospital to be physically healed, people go to a home where hospitality is shown to find a form of spiritual/mental/emotional healing or bonding.

Hospitality is hard and time-consuming work and the brunt of that work falls on the sisters whose home is their special, God-given domain: They "rule the house" (1 Tim.5:14, Scofield, JND). The NASB is weak here; the NIV and NKJV are much better in this case, translating the single Greek word as "manage their home." Sometimes, the sisters may feel that hospitality is a thankless task. Once the food is eaten and the guests gone, there is nothing tangible to show for the hospitality except less money in the checkbook, stains on the carpet and a sink full of dirty dishes. But the intangibles are more than worth it all. God is pleased. Family ties have been strengthened. People know each other better. New friendships may have developed; old friendships renewed or restored or made stronger. God's work for the evening has been accomplished.

Hospitality can be expensive. Even a small get-together can go through many dollars worth of food and coffee, tea and soda. There often is the cost of throwaway products, hot water, gasoline to go shopping, gas/electricity for cooking, etc. Some things wear out faster when heavily used; other things get damaged or broken. Often, these expenses are borne by the hospitable persons alone, but what better way to spend the Lord's money! The person who begrudges such expenses may well need to go before the Lord for a further explanation of the following verses.

Scriptures on Hospitality

Elders (or, overseers) must be "given to hospitality" (1 Tim.3:2) and be a "lover of hospitality" (Tit. 1:8). This book is not the place to get into the various views concerning elders, but one thing is plain: one whose home is not obviously open to the saints - is not a place where the saints are invited and where they feel comfortable going - does not meet the scriptural qualifications to function as an elder.* Many who have wrongly been given that place by men instead of by the Holy Spirit (Acts 20:28), or have assumed they are elders, should take these verses to heart, for spiritually, the principle of entropy has been hard at work in the matter of hospitality.

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*For further discussions of elders, see the previously-referenced books on the Church and "Man + Woman; God's Design," all available from Believers Bookshelf.

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Peter tells all believers to be hospitable (1 Pet.4:9). Use hospitality like glue to cement family relations, he says, and don't do it grudgingly. People - especially young people - can soon feel whether you really want them to come or if you simply "got stuck with" this week's home meeting, etc.

Scriptural Examples

We can learn much from the examples God chose to use in His Word. Look at Peter's mother-in-law (yes, Peter was a married man) in Mark 1:30-31. She was sick; Jesus healed her. What did she do? Go out and celebrate? Clean up her room? No, she served (ministered to) Jesus and His disciples: she showed hospitality! She undoubtedly fed them, maybe put them up for the night, maybe washed their clothes. We aren't given the details, but the example is beautifully left for us to fill in the blanks. She did whatever was needed at the time to make them feel comfortable and wanted.

In Luke 24:13-29 we see the risen Lord and two disciples, probably a husband and wife, walking together on the road to the village of Emmaus. The disciples didn't know the stranger was the Lord, for He didn't allow Himself to be recognized by them (v.16). As they walked the Lord explained the Old Testament scriptures to them. One more thing was needed, however, before the Lord could reveal Himself to them. Would these disciples show the mark of a Christian - love - in the form of hospitality to this interesting Stranger?

These two disciples had every reason not to show hospitality at that time. They had been away from home for some time, they were discouraged at the death of their Lord, they were tired and dirty. Their journey had not been by air-conditioned car along a ribbon of concrete, but a long walk along the hot, sandy path to Emmaus. The Lord even acted as if He would just continue on, but they constrained Him. They urged Him to stay with them. Please: it's getting late and we really enjoy Your company. And the Lord stayed with them and revealed Himself to them! He then vanished. They certainly fulfilled Hebrews 13:2, "Do not forget to entertain strangers," and they entertained one who was far more than mere angels (Gen. 18).

What renewed energy they had (v.33)! Almost immediately they returned to Jerusalem, even though it was an uphill journey! They found the eleven future apostles gathered together and proclaimed the risen Lord! What they would have missed if they had simply acted on their natural desires for ease and comfort!

Then, in Romans 16:3-5, we see that "Priscilla and Aquila" had one of the local assemblies of Rome meet in their house. There evidently were several local assemblies in that large city (Rom.l6:14-15). That was hard work - week after week, probably several times each week, interrupting the family routine. And the brunt of that work probably fell on Priscilla, so here (as in two other cases), by divine inspiration, her name is given prominence by being mentioned first. She was truly the heart of that household, a lover of hospitality, and God specially accounts that fact. Of course, her husband could have said "No," but he also was a lover of hospitality.

Gaius - perhaps a bachelor or widower - was Paul's host and also had a local assembly meet in his home (Rom.l6:23). That was extra work, but he did it gladly and his name is divinely recorded as another lover of hospitality.

Finally, we have the household of Stephanas recorded in 1 Corinthians 16:15 as ones who devoted themselves to serving the saints. Think of children giving up rooms to sleep somewhere on the floor, or running errands or helping in household chores. Think of Mrs. Stephanas cooking, washing, cleaning, and Mr. Stephanas willingly paying the expenses and teaching his family how important such service is by his practical helping the saints, meeting their needs, making them feel comfortable.

These examples are recorded for our instruction that we may see how hospitality cements family relationships and pleases our Lord.

Roger P. Daniel